Thoughts on a VERY snowy and beautiful Christmas Eve

First off, let me say that I sincerely hope and pray that each of you are having a blessed time tonight with friends, family, and loved ones. Remember the true reason for the season, as that is was gets me though on nights like tonight.
Here is a little something I was thinking about tonight. My brain isn't working really well, but I tried.

Loneliness is….

- tucking kids into bed on Christmas Eve alone
- shopping for Christmas presents without someone to call and consult if it is indeed the perfect present
- sitting on a bench by yourself, outside, as the biggest snowflakes you have ever seen fall and blanket the world in white beauty
- standing below some mistletoe with no one to kiss
- wandering the house on Christmas Eve with no one to talk to
- surfing the internet for absolutely nothing the night before Christmas
- seeing your son cry because he misses his daddy and wants him home for “Cwismas”, but not being able to do anything but cry because you feel the same way
- a sick, deep, empty feeling in your stomach
- sitting in front of a fireplace with a soft blanket around you, but no strong, protective arms to hold you
- knowing that work comes before you, even on Christmas Day
- feeling completely alone in a house full of people
- when not even 44 North will warm you up
- knowing that the next years you will be alone more than you will be together with the love of your life
- not even wanting to wake up to Christmas morning, but rather, wanting to just sleep through the whole day and wake up on December 26th.
- spending your first Christmas without your brother and not getting his special hugs
- having no one to wake up with, to get the first kiss of the day from

Ultimately, loneliness is:

being the wife of a deployed soldier