It is almost Friday, and where our dear Tony is, it is already Friday. I have a scrapbooking date tomorrow with some of the other wives here that have husbands deployed. It is through a group called Protestant Women of the Chapel. And since the Army loves to have acronyms for everything, they call it PWOC. This is also the group that has the Bible study. We will be making "back to school" pages.
Today was a pretty good day. It was nice and cool when we woke up and left for school. It started raining on the way there and continued on my way home. It was a bit of a gloomy day, but I have to admit that I really like days like this. When it is sunny and bright here, it seems fake. I guess because I have come to realize that there are so many sad hearts around here. So, rainy gloomy days seem to fit better. I was able to do some things around the house. The kids had an early release day, so I picked them up around noon. The rest of the day was fairly quiet. I was able to get some of my Bible study done.
I just got the kids to bed. I opened up some windows. There is a really nice breeze blowing through. I was just overcome with sadness though. I can hear a lot of helicopters tonight........
The sound of helicopters stirs up my emotions. I have so many things that come to mind, just by hearing them. I think of my dark nights in Haiti in 2003 and 2004 when the country was in unrest and the helicopters flew all night to shoot and protect. I think back to those times. Those first few months in Haiti were so wonderful, with Dominique and the other children. Life seemed so simple. All I was expected to do was love on a darling baby. That's it! Sure, life was a little challenging with no water, little money, etc, but overall it didn't matter much. Sometimes I wonder what I did wrong to cause God to take me out of that situation, then as quickly as I fall into that thinking, I remember that it was my selfishness that led to my destruction. .........
When I hear the helicopters I also think about Tony. I wonder if he has gotten used to hearing them all the time, at all times of day and night. I wonder what he is doing at that moment.
Right now I am just sad, wishing that he was here. I know that tonight would be a perfect cigar night...... nice and cool, very little breeze.....we would sit out on the back patio and talk about life, wonder what God has planned for our family, laugh at silly things people in our lives do, I could unwind with him about the challenges of raising Denaiza.......
Yes, it is hard....not having him here. I think I will end it here and head out back with a box of kleenex and I will light a cigar to set on the table.....at least it will smell like he is here.
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