A letter to a "not so good" friend....

Dear Deployment,
The best policy is usually honesty, and so I will write you this letter honestly.
You are a spoiler. Not a spoiler like a BCS busting school, or a fire drill before a big test, but more like a blown out diarrhea diaper all over a new white shirt. You spoil my days and night, my dreams and desires. You are inconvenient and frustrating to deal with.
Perhaps I should go back to the beginning of our relationship so that I can give you the whole picture. You introduced yourself to me, over the phone, only weeks before my wedding. Bad timing. In case you didn’t know, that pre-wedding planning time is supposed to be a blissful exciting time where a bride looks forward to her new life with her new husband. By introducing yourself to me at that time you only brought with you fear and stress. Not the good “not sure what flavor cake to get” kind of stress, but the “will my husband be alive to see our 2nd anniversary” kind of stress. Yes, I did ok with your introduction, but I still wasn’t happy about you. And let me tell you, you had real nerve to have your secretary call and wake me up the morning after I got home from my honeymoon to give more specifics about your devious plan to steal my husband!
You caused me to have to leave beautiful Boise and to make this wretched land in Texas my new “home.” Did you know that the only people that call this “the Great Place” have to be paid to say that?
You became my husband’s mistress as he trained and practiced how to best serve you. Because of you we became glad when dinner time was before 8PM. You made people call my husband at all times of the night. And as if that wasn't enough, you dragged him out of bed at unimaginable hours.
Then, that fateful August morning, you decided that we should meet in person. I knew that it was coming, but that didn’t mean I was looking forward to our “real” introduction. It was so early that the sun didn’t even want to get up to meet you. You waited on that old white bus, starring at me with gloomy eyes. I tried to ignore you so that I could be strong for my husband. You made my stomach drop as the tears of sadness rolled down my husband’s face. You must be pretty horrible to make my man of steel weep. It was all I could do to muster up the strength to tell him “it is going to be ok.” The ceremony to honor you went off without a hitch. Then my dear, sweet, strong husband headed outside to meet up with you on the bus. I looked you right in the eye, for the first time, as my husband blew me one final kiss. Then off you went, like a thief in the night, with the one thing that means more than anything in the world to me.
My relationship with you since then has been like a rollercoaster ride. Don’t get me wrong, I am not talking good relationship one day, bad relationship the next.....more like bad relationship, horrible relationship, ok relationship and back to bad. I have never liked you and I still don’t. You will never have my approval or acceptance. However, because I have His strength, I am learning to deal with you.
You sure haven’t been kind to the kids. You have brought sadness and temper tantrums that seem like something I would only see on TV. My walls and some broken toys may never forgive you. You have caused questions to be asked that sometimes I don’t have answers for: Why do soldiers fight? Why can’t daddy come home tonight? Why does daddy need a gun? Why does daddy have to help those children when I want him here? How far away is Iraq? Does daddy still love me even though he can’t see me?
They are just children, why is it necessary to involve them in this messy relationship?
Although life is always full of small, daily challenges, you seem to make mountains out of molehills. For example, the lawnmower and weed eater broke in the same hour. Who will help me get them fixed? The toilet water is running. Who will stick their hands in the yucky water for me? I forgot the milk at the store. Who will stop and grab some on their way home? My cell phone won’t work. Who will stand up to the stupid AT&T people for me? Yes, small things in life you say, but they become so frustrating.
You have introduced me to words like deploymones, R&R, Hostile Fire Pay, Donut of Misery, and on and on.
Because of you, every time I look at a clock my brain automatically calculates 8 hours ahead.
You make me cry over silly things like when I hear a song, see a dad hug his child, or cover my heart for the Star Spangled Banner.
You make me despise sand storms.
You have made me a lonely football fan.
You have made me a single parent.
You have stolen the joy of rolling over in the night to feel warm feet next to mine.
You make it hard to get into bed at night.
You took away the smell of coffee brewing in the mornings.
You took away my heart-to-heart talks on Friday evenings.
And sleep..... well, you have made that almost nonexistent.
I suppose, to be fair to you, I should also mention the positive things that have come from meeting you (although none of them are worth your presence in my life). I now know more than I ever wanted to about the US Post Office and its policies and procedures. You make me appreciate technology like the internet, email, VOIP telephones, and web cameras. Thanks to you, I can get away with only shaving my legs every other week! We can have French toast for dinner and hot dogs for breakfast. But by far, the best thing about you coming into our lives is that we are learning what it really means to trust God.
Am I glad that you are here? No. Am I glad that I have become dehydrated from all the tears I have cried because of you? No. Do I hope that you go away soon? Yes. If I had the power to do away with you forever, would I? Absolutely.
But, you are here now, and this is our reality. You should be thankful I am a praying woman because if I weren’t you would be in a world of hurt. I am sure I will have more to write to you later, as this is really only the beginning of our relationship, but that is enough for now. I hope that you have a miserable evening.
Sincerely,

Me